STOP! (Or how my daughter is whipping me back into shape)

Happy back to school!
Congrats on surviving the first week!

 

I will be honest with you. I was looking forward to school starting for the sole reason that I need to get a routine back after experiencing my first summer of harvest. Although, my harvesting time is far from over: there is still another bounty of green beans, corn getting close to harvest, potatoes waiting to be dug up - and let's not forget the stuff still attempting to mature - heirloom tomatoes, roma tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, beets, and carrots....

 

So back to the routine thing...  With the kiddos back in school, I will now have a few hours to myself a few days a week, do get things done.  In preparation, I had made a quite lofty list of things to get done this next week: brew kombucha, make crackers, make bread, clean out chicken coop, muck out animal sheds, clean out our spare bedroom, work on my quilt, pick up new meat chicks, clean out playhouse...  Oh, and I also have to work this week, Em's guitar lessons, and her band's concert.  No biggie, right?

 

And then things got put into perspective...
 

Big time.
 

By a nine-year-old...

 

I was putting her to bed after her 2nd day of fourth grade (fourth grade?!  I know, right??), and told her how utterly proud I was to have such a big, smart, wonderful fourth grader.  Her response to me?  "I just wish I was in 3rd grade still."  Huh?  This is my kid who LOVES school, learning, her friends, etc. - and was even blessed enough to have the same, wonderful teacher again this year.  "What??  Why?  I thought you were so excited to start a new grade!" I asked her.

 

 

 

Her response?

 

"Mom, I just really don't want to grow up anymore.

 

I just want to stay this size, with you."

 

*heart-wrenching sniffle*

 

 

Oh Lordy.  These are the moments I wish I could so badly take back those nights when I am too busy to lay down with her, too stressed to take the time to COMPLETELY STOP everything I am doing and focus completely on what she is telling me.   I felt like my heart was literally breaking... 

 

Why is it that our days get so over-filled with measly details that crowd out the things we really need to be doing?   Granted, most of those things on my list are need-to-do's for my family - It's important for me to provide homemade food and goodies for my family; the animals need clean places to thrive, yada yada yada...  But my kid needs me a hell of a lot more..

 

I have a new list for this week...

 

I will still do those need-to-do's that are important to me for my family - but I will do them when Emma is gone at school.   But once she is home, my list will consist of:

 

 

Practicing patience with my family

 

LISTENING, in such a whole-hearted way, to my loved ones

 

When Emma asks me something or has something to show me - I will allow myself to do nothing but focus on her.

 

When stress hits, I will ask myself "Is this really as bad as it feels right this second?"  Stop, and take a step backwards - chances are, when re-looking at the issue, it won't be quite as huge as I had thought. 

 

And lastly,

Remember that Emma wants this moment to last forever - and acknowledge that I feel the same way...